iCalry: Spencer's Top Ten Girlfriends

For years, my wife and I dreaded the day when our daughter would enter the “iCarly stage”.  It came upon us a little sooner than we expected.  Our 5-year-old daughter watched it with her cousins and decided to try it out at home.  She liked the show, but she soon lost interest.  However, our 18-month old daughter became obsessed with the show.  She demanded “iTarly” be on the TV at all times.  Several months later, my wife and I have just about every episode of the show memorized.

Surprisingly, we both came to kind of like the show.  If you watch it enough, you pick up on all kinds of little in-jokes.  There are references to producer Robin Weiners (a hot dog stand called Robin’s Weiner, they borrow a weiner dog from their friend Robin).  And if you look at any signs in the background, you’re likely to find a reference to show creator Dan Schneider.

One of my favorite running gags is the love life of Carly’s older brother, Spencer.  Spencer is a goofball.  But he is possessed of a certain “Spencer charm” that enables him to date girls who are entirely too attractive for a goofy, unemployed artist.  My personal theory is that the Shays are independently wealthy.  Check out their loft!

So without further ado, here is a list of Spencer’s top 10 girlfriends/crushes:

 10. Lauren Ackerman – Ms. Ackerman is a history teacher at Carly’s school.  She’s a neurotic mess who has just been dumped by her boyfriend.  When she makes the kids’ lives miserable, Spencer goes in to talk to her and they end up dating.  During that time, Ms. Ackerman transforms into a smoking hottie in a red dress.  But she’s still crazy as a loon.  Spencer dumps her almost immediately.

9. Ms. Fielder – When Carly decides to take art classes at a community center, Spencer tags along.  His behavior in class is disruptive.  Before long, he and the teacher are painting each other’s face.  Spencer and Carly get kicked out of the community center.  In fact, they are banned for life.  But the teacher follows them home and throws herself at Spencer.

8. Candace – Spencer invites “sophisticated” Candace over to his apartment for a date.  He tries to impress her by appearing sophisticated himself, thus the glasses.  He is frequently called away from their dinner by Carly who needs him to sub in for Sam during iCarly.  Eventually, Candace goes upstairs to check on him and sees him wearing a baby costume.  They break up.  Candace looses points for her endless mushroom tartlette story.

7. Alison – Spencer enlisted Freddie to go on a double date with Alison and her 15-year-old cousin.  However, while waiting for their rock climbing time, Freddie and Spencer become obsessed with a party game.  They miss their climb time entirely.  Eventually, the girls just leave and the boys don’t even notice.

6 . Charlotte Gibson – Spencer had a “familiar” feeling when he started dating Charlotte.  But he couldn’t put his fingers on it.  Eventually, he heard Carly’s weird friend, Gibby, call her “mom” and figured out that she was Gibby’s mom.  From that point on, he couldn’t kiss her without seeing Gibby’s face.  At first, Gibby’s mom thought that was silly.  But then she started seeing Carly’s face when she kissed Spencer.  The two ran away from each other in horror.

5. Connie – Not much is known about Connie.  Spencer dumped her because he found out “she juggled for other guys”.  Later, we see her juggling for someone who is also trying to watch iCarly.

4. Sasha Striker – Sasha Striker is a video game champion (yeah right!) who comes out of retirment to challenge Spencer to a game of Pac-Rat.  It’s unclear whether Sasha is trying to intimidate Spencer or hit on him.  But after he beats her, she asks him out on a date.

3. Kristacia – Kristacia doesn’t speak a word of English which would seem to make her a perfect girlfriend for Spencer.  However, he eventually decides to try to get a translator so he can communicate with her better.  He tries to ask her to go with him to Vegas and to pay for the trip.  But the translator doesn’t speak English either.  Eventually, Kristacia leaves with the translator.

2. Veronica – Veronica is a check-out girl who only likes Spencer when he is wearing a tux.  Spencer goes so far as to wear a tux under his work out clothes to keep her interested.  In a later episode, Veronica believes Spencer has died and comes to give her condolences.  When he hears that Veronica still likes him, he jumps out and explains that he’s not really dead.  This upsets Veronica who leaves immediately.

1. Emily’s mother – Spencer’s #1 girl didn’t even get a name.  She was the single mother of a Sunshine girl who is too shy to sell fudgeballs.  Spencer offers to help Emily sell fudgeballs so she can win a bike.  He makes it clear he is only doing so to impress Emily’s attractive mom.  After Spencer eventually wins the bike, it’s unclear whether or not he ever got the time of day from Emily’s mom.
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