What the Hell Happened to Lindsay Lohan?
Lindsay Lohan isn’t just a train wreck. She is a train that is perpetually wrecking. It’s as though someone keeps rewinding the tape and replaying the same disaster over and over and over again. The situation has gone from sad to funny and back again more times than I can count. It’s hard to remember, but just ten years ago Lohan was the most promising actress in Hollywood. She seemed poised for greatness. On screen, she had a talent and composure beyond her years. In reality, she was ill-equipped to deal with the pressures of her life. Her public melt-down is in danger of lasting longer than her career.
What the hell happened?
Lindsay was the oldest of four children all of whom have been pushed into, I mean chosen a life in show business. By now, most people are familiar with Lohan’s loving parents, Dina and Michael Douglas Lohan, Sr. Dina is known to have brought camera crews to film her visiting her daughter in rehab. She also claims to be a former Rockette despite that no one at Radio City has any record of the claim. Michael was a former Wall Street trader who was convicted of criminal contempt of court and sentenced to three years. Since then, he’s been consistently in trouble with the law and in and out of rehab. Guess that apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
It would be charitable to say that the Lohan clan is lead by deeply flawed people. For now, I will leave it at that.
Lindsay Lohan signed with the Ford Modeling Agency at the age of three. How does a three-year-old sign a contract anyway? My four-year-old can write her first name. But something tells me that’s not legally binding. I feel terribly guilty when I drop her off at daycare some times. But her parents seemed okay with the head-trip of signing a contract with a modeling agency for their three-year-old. Different parenting styles, I guess.
Here she is with a young Misha Barton in an ad for a clothing company called Caravan.
Here she is in an ad for Abercrombie Kids at age 12. I wonder how the two kids she has in a headlock are doing today?
And here’s Lohan’s serious face in an ad for Calvin Klein.
Lohan also appeared in tons of TV commercials like this grape J-ello commercial starring Bill Cosby:
At the age of 10, Lohan started appearing on the daytime soap opera, Another World. A soap magazine referred to her as a show biz veteran. Here’s a clip:
She was the best actor in that scene.
After a year in soaps, Lohan made the leap to the big screen in Nancy Meyers’ adaptation of the 1961 family comedy, The Parent Trap.
In the original, Haley Mills played a dual role as twins trying to reunite their divorced parents. In the remake, the parents were played by Dennis Quaid and Natasha Richardson. Lohan played the plotting twins.
The trailer actually ends with “… and introducing Lindsay Lohan”. Disney had no idea what it was unleashing on the world. Reviews for the remake were good and it became a surprise hit of the summer.
In 2000, Lohan appeared next to fellow model, Tyra Banks, in the TV movie, Life Size. Lohan played a girl who brings her doll to life when she wishes to bring her late mother back to life. Banks played a life-sized piece of animated plastic, so type casting.
I looked for a commercial for this movie, but I couldn’t find one. You can watch the whole thing on YouTube if you are so inclined. But after watching this painful clip of Banks lip-synching, I don’t think you will be inclined.
Disney is planning a sequel with Banks. Presumably Lohan won’t be involved.
Posted on June 23, 2013, in Movies, What the Hell Happened?, WTHH Actress and tagged Disney, entertainment, freaky friday, lindsay lohan, machete, mean girls, movies, parent trap, playboy. Bookmark the permalink. 265 Comments.