What the Hell Happened to Lindsay Lohan?

lindsay Lohan 2013

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan isn’t just a train wreck.  She is a train that is perpetually wrecking.  It’s as though someone keeps rewinding the tape and replaying the same disaster over and over and over again.  The situation has gone from sad to funny and back again more times than I can count.  It’s hard to remember, but just ten years ago Lohan was the most promising actress in Hollywood.  She seemed poised for greatness.  On screen, she had a talent and composure beyond her years.  In reality, she was ill-equipped to deal with the pressures of her life.  Her public melt-down is in danger of lasting longer than her career.

What the hell happened?

Lindsay was the oldest of four children all of whom have been pushed into, I mean chosen a life in show business.  By now, most people are familiar with Lohan’s loving parents,  Dina and Michael Douglas Lohan, Sr.  Dina is known to have brought camera crews to film her visiting her daughter in rehab.  She also claims to be a former Rockette despite that no one at Radio City has any record of the claim.  Michael was a former Wall Street trader who was convicted of criminal contempt of court and sentenced to three years.  Since then, he’s been consistently in trouble with the law and in and out of rehab.  Guess that apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

It would be charitable to say that the Lohan clan is lead by deeply flawed people.  For now, I will leave it at that.

lohan - child model

Lindsay Lohan – child model

Lindsay Lohan signed with the Ford Modeling Agency at the age of three.  How does a three-year-old sign a contract anyway?  My four-year-old can write her first name.  But something tells me that’s not legally binding.  I feel terribly guilty when I drop her off at daycare some times.  But her parents seemed okay with the head-trip of signing a contract with a modeling agency for their three-year-old.  Different parenting styles, I guess.

Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton

Lindsay Lohan – child model

Here she is with a young Misha Barton in an ad for a clothing company called Caravan.

Lohan - Abercrombie Kids

Lindsay Lohan – child model

Here she is in an ad for Abercrombie Kids at age 12.  I wonder how the two kids she has in a headlock are doing today?

lohan - calvin klein

Lindsay Lohan – child model

And here’s Lohan’s serious face in an ad for Calvin Klein.

Lohan also appeared in tons of TV commercials like this grape J-ello commercial starring Bill Cosby:

Next: The Parent Trap and Freaky Friday

Posted on June 23, 2013, in Movies, What the Hell Happened?, WTHH Actress and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 274 Comments.

  1. Lindsay Lohan’s tweet of “Why is everyone in such a panic about a hurricane (I’m calling it Sally)? Stop projecting negativity! Think positive and pray for peace” makes WatchMojo’s list of Another Top 10 Dumb Things Said by Celebrities


  2. The 411 Douchebag of the Week: Lindsay Lohan:

    This week, the 411 Douchebag of the Week goes to Lindsay Lohan, for failing to complete her community service despite having years to complete it. Yes. Years.

    According to various reports, actress Lohan has only officially completed around 10 hours of her 125 hour community service sentence from her 2012 car crash in Santa Monica, California. You would think that Lohan, who hasn’t been a respected actor in over a decade, would have wanted to get her community service completed as soon as possible so she could, you know, get it out of the way. But, no, Lohan has deliberately skirted her responsibilities and now there’s a chance that if she doesn’t complete her full 125 hour requirement by May 28th she will be sent to jail. And you know what that means? Endless media speculation about what will happen to her in jail and how long she’ll actually spend in jail. Round the clock expert analysis of what really happens when celebrities are sent to jail followed by video packages of every modern celebrity that has done time. And then more expert analysis followed by complaints about the news media focusing on celebrity gossip nonsense instead of real news. Does anyone really want any of that?

    Of course not. So why the hell didn’t Lohan complete her community service as soon as possible? Stupidity? Possibly. A large sense of celebrity entitlement? More than likely. She is famous, and fame tends to make celebrities believe that they are above everything, including the law. And since she is “important” in that way perhaps there’s an expectation that, even with stern warnings from various judges, that, in the end, nothing will really happen to her. Community service requirements are for poor people, regular people, not important celebrities like Lindsay Lohan. She used to be in movies. She also did Playboy that one time. She’s a cultural icon. You don’t put icons in jail even if they screw up their lives and violate the law. You just don’t.

    Lindsay Lohan should go to jail if she doesn’t complete her community service requirement. And she should be forced to complete the full stretch of her sentence, whatever the hell it ends up being. And then maybe she’ll figure out that she needs to fix her life. She probably won’t since, as I said last issue, no one ever learns anything, but it should happen anyway. You know, there’s always a chance, even with super entitled celebrities, that Lindsay Lohan will figure her life out.

    It also would be nice if Lohan’s mother and father stopped being enabling douchebags and figured out their own f***ing lives, but one thing at a time. Maybe if they see their daughter turn her life around they’ll make an effort for their own lives.

    And then Lindsay Lohan can go back to being an actress, get out of the scandal sheet tabloid gossip press, and we’ll never have to hear about any of this shit ever again. I think that’s a goal we can all get behind, right?

    Who is with me on this? Everyone, right?


  3. 10 Actors Whose Craziness Got Them Kicked Out Of Hollywood:

    Lindsay Lohan

    There are presumably very few human beings with even a passing interest in the cinematic medium who are not aware of the decline of one Lindsay Lohan, former child actress who slowly revealed herself to be something of a basket case.

    As if countless on-set tantrums, fights and disputes weren’t enough, Lohan also fell into drugs and alcohol in her late teens and she’s yet to recover.

    And now that her reputation is forever cemented as that of “nut-job,” nobody in Hollywood wants to work with her, and she’s forced to take cameo appearances in movies like Scary Movie 5 to get by. Even when Lindsay seems to be “getting better,” it takes only a few weeks before she’s scraping the bottom of the barrel all over again. Sad, really.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,452 other followers

%d bloggers like this: