X-Men Dream Cast for my X-Men Movie
With X-Men: Days of Future Past about to be released, the announcement of Channing Tatum playing Gambit (NOOOOOOOOO *vomits* he is terrible) in future films, Hugh Jackman’s continued waffling about coming back as Wolverine, and Bryan Singer facing disturbing accusations, and lots of spin-off rumored, the X-Men universe is growing and in constant flux. I’m going to go out on a limb and say there has never been a great X-Men movie. And X-Men are my favorite comic book heroes. X2 is pretty strong, and the latest Wolverine offering is fantastic until the final setpiece defies all logic and becomes a plothole laden hell from a different movie. I hated First Class and thought it only worsened all the issues the series has been plagued by since the get-go. So, of course, I want a reboot. I want to wipe the damn slate clean. DOFP could be great, it’s based on possibly the greatest storyline in the history of the series, and contained an enormous 8 episode arc on the classic 90s cartoon series which did it perfect justice. X1 was great for it’s time. Along with Spiderman it proved that comic book movies could be good and have serious ideas and cultural commentary. It made a litany of unnecessary changes to great characters and made Wolverine the lead (a problem that still plagues the series) but the masterstroke of casting Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen, and Hugh Jackman really growing into the role over the years. But over the last 15 years it’s become a mess. Sabretooth was terrible in the original trilogy, but Leiv Schreiber was fantastic in an otherwise awful film. Taylor Kitsch was horrid as Gambit. Cyclops has never gotten his deserved spot. Jean Grey’s Phoenix arc was pushed to the last half of one film, when it’s an enormous event. Alternate storylines, Vinnie Jones’ Juggernaut (who is not a mutant), Ray Park’s Toad, and lots of other offenses abound. Let’s start over. Let’s pretend it never happened. Let’s pretend I have $150 million to produce my own X-Men film. In fact I’ve already written a script years ago as the first film in my proposed trilogy entitled Uncanny X-Men. So this has been a long time coming for me. I’m going to recast the film and give you my take and why, because I’m a writer for this blog and you have no choice but to accept my word as god. Director: Neil Bloomkamp I’d wanted Steven Soderberg because he is the master of the ensemble. However, he’s semi-retired. So there goes that. Neil Bloomkamp is the best director working in sci-fi for my money. His films are theatrical, smart, ambitious, and have something on their minds. He would be my choice to create a grounded and human world that these extraordinary events take place. Writer: John Logan (with story by Chris Claremont) I’ve written the script. But if I had all the monies, I’d hire John Logan who has consistently written some of the best scripts in Hollywood for the last 15 years. Skyfall, Gladiator, Rango, Aviator, and more. He is also a brilliant playwright. And Chris Claremont is the best writer in X-Men history. The Cast: Here we go. And I’m working under the assumption I can’t cast myself. Which is unfortunate. Also, none of the original cast can return, so despite that some of them are brilliant, this is the rule. Also, I’m trying to be budget conscious. As in, I’m not going to cast 15 A-list actors. I’m trying to be realistic.
Prof X – Timothy Dalton
One of the only actors who could hold his own against Patrick Stewart in an older-actor-intensity-off Timothy Dalton would be perfect. He would bring a little more edge where Stewart is wise. In many stories Xavier’s ambition and passion often lead to bad decisions and consequences. Dalton could bring that. Just check out the Penny Dreadful pilot.
Magneto – Donald Sutherland
All Canadian menace, Sutherland would be the yin to Dalton’s yang. A classically trained actor with authority and presence, Sutherland could fill the shoes left by McKellen. He has a gravitas and has often played men with good intentions gone wrong. Cyclops – Joe Manganiello
Mostly famous for his True Blood work, I’ve gone out a bit on a limb with this one. However, with his towering build and height, I think he’ll finally bring the authority that Cyc needed, that James “milquetoast” Marsden could never supply. Cyclops is the leader and head of the team. He’s the quarterback. He cares deeply for his team and believes that the best way to do that is with strict control and traditional leadership. Manganiello hasn’t gotten to stretch himself much on the big screen, but I think he could pull it off. Jean Grey – Jessica Chastain
Anyone that saw her in Tree of Life where she literally embodied “grace,” can see this. She’s a beautiful, strong, and graceful actress, who is also a chameleon and slips into roles completely. Grey is compassionate and afraid of the power she holds. Also if the Phoenix saga ever came to life, Chastain could embody the dark, compulsive Phoenix as well.
Wolverine – Joel Edgarton
I would’ve went with Kurt Russell in the 99 version. Here, this Australian actor has the right look and chops to bring to everybody’s favorite Canadian. He’s a gritty actor and physical as well, for anyone who has seen Warrior. He has the right attitude and ability.
Gambit – Tom Hardy
I had the hardest time with this one. My 99 version would’ve had Val Kilmer as Gambit. Tom is a little short for the ragin’ Cajun, and not quite the right build, but he’s proven that his body is malleable, and my belief is Tom can do anything. He can embody the roguish aspects, the humor, and also the moral ambiguity that lies at his center. Throw a trenchcoat on him.
Beast – Val Kilmer
Kelsey Grammar was a strong Beast, but Val has to be in here somewhere. Under heavy prosthetic makeup, Val has the right amount of humor, good-hearted arrogance, and ability to play genius that is Beast. Also an extremely physical actor, his performance in Felon makes me think he could be physically scary enough.
Storm – Rosario Dawson
One of the greatest characters the movies completely failed. Halle Berry is terrible. The characterization is terrible. Rosario Dawson can convey the strength, serenity, and the repression that comes from a mutant whose emotions govern their powers. Storm is a princess and the second in command of the team.
Nightcrawler – Zachary Quinto
He’d never forgive me for putting him back in pointy ears, but Nightcrawler is a brilliant character. A faith-driven and misunderstood monk of a character whose physical appearance misrepresents him. Quinto is fiercely intelligent as an actor and can be captivating.
Colossus – Jeffrey Dean Morgan
The gentle giant Colossus hides a kind heart under a gruff exterior. Morgan’s Comedian in Watchmen was nothing short of a brilliant piece of acting. He remains an unsung favorite of mine.
Rogue – Gemma Arterton
She hasn’t made it big time yet, but she’s one to watch. Rogue, in the comics, has superstrength after the Ms. Marvel fiasco. My version would restore that, so she has more to do than mope. Arterton has the physicality to believe that she could whoop your ass, and a fierce sexiness to bring to the southern belle that Paquin never did
. Archangel – Guy Pearce
A master of playing obsessive characters, and a true chameleon. Angel’s fall to Archangel is one of the great tragedy’s of the Apocalypse arch. Pearce can play the cocky rich boy, the arrogance, the obsession, and the fall to evil.
Jubilee- Unknown Asian Actress
Apocalypse – Vin Diesel
The only man with the voice and phsyicality to bring to the role. A better actor than he gets credit for, I think he would thrive as a villain. He would be in heavy makeup but would lend a lot to the role. I’m willing to battle over this one.
Bishop- Idris Elba
I love Idris, and Bishop is a fun character, though he’d be likely to be exposition laden with the time traveling aspect. But he’s a desperate man on a mission.
Sinister – Javier Bardem
Not traditionally a hispanic character, but Bardem has brought to life some great villains and Sinister is a tragic story. In the mad scientist camp, Bardem could do it without it being cartoony.
Sabretooth – Mickey Rourke
I know, the set would be madness. But, imagine Rourke in Domino. I like his physicality and ability. Rourke would bring a quieter crazy to Sabretooth.
Iceman – Cilian Murphy
Wisecracking and good-looking, Iceman was the levity of the original team. Once he became encased in ice, he became a bit more morose. Murphy is a brilliant actor, who can play troubled and sarcastic.
Deadpool – Ryan Reynolds
I know. I’m cheating. But he really didn’t get to play Deadpool more than 5 minutes before the atrocious ending of Wolverine’s first solo outing when a stunt double took over. He deserves another chance. Other ideas were Donald Glover, Joel McHale, and Jim Carrey.
Sen. Kelly – Kurt Russel
Had to bring him back. Love Kurt Russell, and the bad-guy senator would be a great role for a man that has been acting his whole life.
Anyway, that’s my movie. Sound off below, and let me know what you’d do different.
And you can check out Page 2 if you want to read my script for the first installment of my series. Yes, I’m actually posting something I wrote. Thankfully this community is relatively nice.