What the Hell Happened to Lindsay Lohan?

lindsay Lohan 2013

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan isn’t just a train wreck.  She is a train that is perpetually wrecking.  It’s as though someone keeps rewinding the tape and replaying the same disaster over and over and over again.  The situation has gone from sad to funny and back again more times than I can count.  It’s hard to remember, but just ten years ago Lohan was the most promising actress in Hollywood.  She seemed poised for greatness.  On screen, she had a talent and composure beyond her years.  In reality, she was ill-equipped to deal with the pressures of her life.  Her public melt-down is in danger of lasting longer than her career.

What the hell happened?

Lindsay was the oldest of four children all of whom have been pushed into, I mean chosen a life in show business.  By now, most people are familiar with Lohan’s loving parents,  Dina and Michael Douglas Lohan, Sr.  Dina is known to have brought camera crews to film her visiting her daughter in rehab.  She also claims to be a former Rockette despite that no one at Radio City has any record of the claim.  Michael was a former Wall Street trader who was convicted of criminal contempt of court and sentenced to three years.  Since then, he’s been consistently in trouble with the law and in and out of rehab.  Guess that apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

It would be charitable to say that the Lohan clan is lead by deeply flawed people.  For now, I will leave it at that.

lohan - child model

Lindsay Lohan – child model

Lindsay Lohan signed with the Ford Modeling Agency at the age of three.  How does a three-year-old sign a contract anyway?  My four-year-old can write her first name.  But something tells me that’s not legally binding.  I feel terribly guilty when I drop her off at daycare some times.  But her parents seemed okay with the head-trip of signing a contract with a modeling agency for their three-year-old.  Different parenting styles, I guess.

Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton

Lindsay Lohan – child model

Here she is with a young Misha Barton in an ad for a clothing company called Caravan.

Lohan - Abercrombie Kids

Lindsay Lohan – child model

Here she is in an ad for Abercrombie Kids at age 12.  I wonder how the two kids she has in a headlock are doing today?

lohan - calvin klein

Lindsay Lohan – child model

And here’s Lohan’s serious face in an ad for Calvin Klein.

Lohan also appeared in tons of TV commercials like this grape J-ello commercial starring Bill Cosby:

Next: The Parent Trap and Freaky Friday


Posted on June 23, 2013, in Movies, What the Hell Happened?, WTHH Actress and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 384 Comments.

  1. Being in a Disney movie almost made Alison Pill quit acting

    Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen (2004)—Ella

    AVC: You played Lindsay Lohan’s best friend!

    AP: Yeah, “Ella Never-Had-A-Fella.” I had just graduated from high school. I had done my first play in New York and then returned to Toronto to shoot this film, which was the biggest budget film I had been in up to that point. And to be honest, it almost made me want to quit acting.

    AVC: Wow. Why?

    AP: [Laughs.] Partly, it was just sort of studio, big-budget stuff. They took out some of my favorite lines of scenes from the script while we were in the middle of shooting. I was like, “Wait, but…” The whole thing about them, they weren’t supposed to get parental permission. That was a huge plot point, when they go to the city to see their favorite band play. In the original script, they’re not supposed to ever tell their parents.

    AVC: So it basically sucked out all the tension.

    AP: The entire conflict! Then they’re like, “But actually, we did tell our parents! So, bye!” And there was this stuff like that where I was like, “You guys, what?” If you gave me—I could make, like, five movies from the budget. But! People love this movie.

    AVC: It’s a treasured film for kids of a certain age.

    AP: People absolutely adore this movie. And it plays all the time and I’m super happy for that being a thing because, you know, I’m happy to be in that movie. I was in Trader Joe’s the other day and a young woman goes, “You look like Alison Pill,” and I was like, “That’s me. That’s my name.” She gave me a hug and she’s like, “I watched that movie so many times!” I mean, people grew up with it. It’s one of those. It’s such a cool thing to be a part of. But at the time, I was like, “Ugh, studios, man.” And then I went to Europe and shot a movie with Thomas Vinterberg and Lars Von Trier and I was like, “Okay, I can do this. [Laughs.] This whole acting thing isn’t so bad.”

    AVC: It was this big-budget Disney film set, and you’d just come back from your first New York theatre role, so were you looking around like, “Does nobody else realize this is so frustrating and annoying?”

    AP: Yeah, a little bit, yeah. It was just this feeling of like, am I a crazy person? Does nobody else think it would be idiotic to change the fact that we—you know, I didn’t mean to be a snob, but I am. I’m a dramaturge snob, okay? I love reading plays, I love plot, I love structure, I don’t write myself but… Anyway, to then be working with people who are like, “Age doesn’t really matter so much,” and, whoa, the difference between them being 15 and 16 is actually pretty significant. And I know you don’t care, but I do. And just in those ways people are like, “Eh! Eh, it doesn’t matter.” And most of the time, they’re right. It actually doesn’t matter. But you’re like—I want it to matter.

    AVC: That’s a pretty understandable position.

    AP: And there were just some little boops and blips that I was like, “Ugh, I wish we’d checked that.” But in the end, again, super fun movie. I haven’t watched it in years. But it was super fun.


  2. 10 Famous Actors Who Committed Real Life Crimes

    Lindsay Lohan

    After Mean Girls, Lohan seemed destined to become the hottest starlet in the industry, but the wheels came off pretty quickly and her downward spiral ruined her career. That’s in large part due to her extensive rap sheet that includes multiple DUI arrests, drug abuse, and more than one stint in jail. Lohan has also been to rehab on several occasions and was frequently on probation. May 2015 became the first time in 8 years the actress was probation free, after she completed community service from a reckless driving charge. She may not be able to turn her career around, but hopefully Lohan can get her life in order.


  3. Lindsay Lohan clarifies that part of her finger was RIPPED* off, not chopped off. If that makes you feel better


  4. The Ashton Kutcher curse

    Lindsay Lohan (Bobby)

    Before she was cast as Diane in the Emilio Estevez thriller Bobby, Lindsay Lohan actually had a pretty impressive track record with the critics, starring in the widely acclaimed Disney flick The Parent Trap as a child in 1998, continuing that form in 2003 with a remake of Freaky Friday and establishing herself as a young woman with 2004’s Mean Girls, a role that seemed to put the world at the redhead’s feet.

    Her part in 2006’s Bobby wasn’t huge, and neither was Ashton Kutcher’s for that matter, but they rubbed shoulders on set regardless, and the former experienced a dramatic turn in her personal and professional fortunes in the years that followed. In 2007 she was involved in two DUI incidents, and subsequent visits to rehab as well as short stints behind bars has severely limited her career options.


  5. Trump on Lindsay Lohan in 2004: “Deeply troubled women … always the best in bed”


  6. Lindsay Lohan: “Moving to London was the best thing I’ve done for myself.”


  7. Lindsay Lohan to Supply Refugee Camps with Free Energy Drinks

    Actress Lindsay Lohan is reportedly teaming up with German energy drink maker Mintanine to supply energy drinks to refugees displaced by the Syrian civil war.


  8. So if she’s from America, why is Lindsay Lohan speaking in an accent?


  9. It’s literally impossible to insure her now. When you make big money in movies you have to insure the stars attached to the project in case they die or go bananas or something. So during “Freaky Friday”, her and Jamie Lee Curtis both would’ve been insured for a healthy percentage of their salary.

    But as Lindsay started to behave more and more erratically, it became harder and harder to get insurance for her. After “The Canyons”, it was damn near impossible…I think it was the coke-fueled driving up and down the driveway for four hours in the middle of the night that sealed the deal.

    So even if someone wanted to hire her for an A-list project, they couldn’t because she can’t get insurance.


  10. EXCLUSIVE: Lindsay Lohan has been fired by her longtime publicist


  11. Lindsay Lohan Just Went Full Regina George On Ariana Grande’s Selfie

    Who would have guessed that in our darkest days we’d look to Lindsay Lohan for some comedic relief? First, she gifted the world with her weird Euro accent, then she trademarked it by starting a clothing line and now she’s trolling celebrity Instagram accounts. Apparently fatigued from yachting around the world and petitioning to be in Disney movies she’ll never star in, Lohan decided to tap into her inner mean girl and shade Ariana Grande within an inch of her ponytail. The “Into You” singer, who will star as Penny in NBC’s “Hairspray Live” next month, posted a photo of herself and co-star Dove Cameron in ’60s hair and make up. That’s when Lohan went in and left the shady Instagram comment to


  12. Lindsay Lohan’s Offer To Turn On The Christmas Lights For A British Town Ends With An Apology


  13. Blind Items Revealed #1

    November 26, 2016

    Our favorite former almost A- list mostly movie actress turned escort is avoiding her second home like the plague. Way too many people she owes money to there. She now prefers to stay in other parts of Europe when at all possible.

    Lindsay Lohan


  14. Lindsay Lohan vows to make a proper ‘Mean Girls’ sequel happen


  15. Episode Eight: I Know Who Killed Me

    Just in time for that long Christmas/ (late) Hanukkah/ or Kwanzaa trip, here’s our holiday present to you — the longest Flop House ever! Just download it to your iPod or off-brand MP3 player (perhaps a gift from the very same cheap relatives you’re going to


  16. ‘Alaikum salam’: Muslims welcome Lindsay Lohan to Islam after actress posts Arabic message of peace on her Instagram account


  17. She’s a global citizen! Lindsay Lohan slips in and out of her bizarre international twang AGAIN during wacky interview with Kyle & Jackie O


  18. Blind Items Revealed #5

    January 17, 2017

    I know I have talked about our former almost A- list mostly movie actress turned escort a lot this week, but it just is the gift that keeps on giving, much like if you have unprotected sex with her. Anyway, she pulled several hairs out of the head of this D list celebrity offspring who is hooking up with this bazillionaire. Apparently this former A+list reality star set the whole thing up in return for a $1M deal to buy some of her overpriced products. Our escort wanted the guy for herself.

    Lindsay Lohan/Sofia Richie/Paris HIlton


  19. EXCLUSIVE: ‘I was scared to come back because of my beliefs’: Lindsay Lohan on returning to the US while studying Islam and wanting to meet Trump


  20. Lindsay Lohan Is Pitching Herself As The Next Live-Action Disney Princess


  21. She’s heading back to Hollywood! Lindsay Lohan announces she has a new reality show called Nerd in the works


  22. Lindsay Lohan Claims She Was ‘Racially Profiled’ For Wearing A Headscarf At The Airport


  23. THE GOSSIP LIFE 09/23

    You are going to be judging this A-list actor so much after this one, Gossipers. He’s certified A-list although he’s long past his peak. We’re going back to the mid 2000s during the height of this former A-list actress’ career. She was young, dumb and outta control. You know the one. Our A-list actor totally hooked up her for some action. She was 18. He was in his 50s. That’s low, man. Bruce Willis/Lindsay Lohan


  24. Lindsay Lohan is really, really, really desperate for work!!!!

    Lindsay Lohan is really, really, really itching to get back to her roots — her Disney roots, to be specific.

    Just last month she was campaigning for the lead role of Ariel in Disney’s upcoming live adaptation of The Little Mermaid. Now, she’s @-ing Disney directly on Twitter to insist they make sequels to two of her most iconic films: Freaky Friday and Herbie.

    Have you ever RT’d a tweet so fast?

    Just imagine how amazing Lindsay would be as the mom in a Freaky Friday reboot. And Herbie definitely needs to be reloaded one more time.

    Lindsay has been advocating for a Mean Girls sequel, too. She even fleshed out the plot! It would follow the original mean girls as moms. So that’s a THIRD sequel we absolutely need in our lives.

    And, hey, why stop there? Pretty much every movie on Lindsay’s IMDb page could use another installment. Get a Clue? The Parent Trap? Just My Luck? Yes, please. Based on Lindsay’s tweet, I’m sure she’d be down to star in them all.

    —Anonymous (147 views)

    10 replies 8 3 hours ago


  25. ‘I took control back’: Lindsay Lohan on how she turned her life around after realizing toxic relationship with ex Egor was just like her parents


  26. EXCLUSIVE: ‘I’m back, b*****s’: Lindsay Lohan set to make explosive return to TV… as trailer for new social media reality series is leaked online


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