What the Hell Happened to Orlando Bloom?

Orlando Bloom starred in one of the biggest movie trilogies of all time, and followed it up by starring in another one of the biggest trilogies of all time. He’s worked with Peter Jackson, Ridley Scott, and Cameron Crowe. He was supposed to be the next big thing.

What the hell happened?

Orlando Bloom was born in Canterbury, Kent, England, January 13, 1977.  Bloom got his start in television  with  roles in episodes of Casualty and Midsomer Murders.  Bloom made his big screen debut in 1997 before enrolling in the Guildhall School of Music and Drama in London, where he studied acting.

WILDE  (1997)

Orlando Bloom - Wilde - 1997
Orlando Bloom – Wilde – 1997

Bloom scored a cameo in the English prestige film, Wilde, starring Stephen Fry as the titular Oscar Wilde, a part he was practically born to play. It featured a who’s who of English stars like Jude Law, Michael Sheen, Tom Wilkinson, and Vanessa Redgrave. It follows the life story of writer Oscar Wilde, whose personal life would come to haunt him in less understanding times.

LORD OF THE RINGS: FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (2001)

Orlando Bloom - Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring - 2001
Orlando Bloom – Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring – 2001

Bloom basically made a quantum leap (oh boy…) to stardom, landing a role in Peter Jackson’s adaptation of Tolkien’s epic fantasy two days before he graduated drama school. Talk about a graduation present. He was originally cast as Faramir, but switched to Legolas. Lucky him.

Nobody knew what a huge hit the LOTR trilogy would be. Peter Jackson had to fight tooth and nail with studios, before New Line said he could make a trilogy. What came from it is one of the only film trilogies that can be compared with Star Wars. It became a cultural phenomenon.

You can argue whether or not Jackson’s adaptation is faithful (hint: it’s not. Tolkein writing has more in common with the Encyclopedia Brittanica than it does an action film) but it was a hit with audiences. Using in-camera tricks to keep the budget under $100 mill (a trick Jackson would later forget on every subsequent movie he directed), and lavishly photographing the New Zeland landscape, the film was a smash with critics and racked up close to a billion dollars worldwide. It scored Oscar noms, a rarity for a film of this scale and scope.

If by some miracle you haven’t seen it, the Lord of the Rings is a fantasy saga taking place in middle-earth, where a band of Hobbits, elves, dwarves,wizards, and humans set to destroy an ancient evil that has arisen again. Orlando Bloom’s bleach job and cat-like elf Legolas made him an instant heart-throb with teenage girls everywhere, and made his character a standout in a film of standouts. From drama school to worldwide movie star. Like that.

BLACK HAWK DOWN (2001)

Orlando Bloom - Black Hawk Down - 2001
Orlando Bloom – Black Hawk Down – 2001

Bloom followed up LOTR with a small role in the star-studded Ridley Scott actioner, Black Hawk Down. Pitting him alongside tons of names (and others who would be names later) Ewan McGregor, Josh Hartnett (future WTHHer), Tom Sizemore, Tom Hardy, Sam Shepard, and Eric Bana.

It follows a (sort of) true story of a helicopter going down in Somalia, and the troops on the ground’s fight for survival among a hostile people, and the subsequent rescue. It serves as Scott’s answer to Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan in that it’s main goal is to show the visceral and unforgiving nature of violence and murder in war. It aims to not blink. However, it’s a bit too slick for it’s own good, and can be a bit “oo-rah ‘merrka” with it’s depiction of patriotism. It did middling business stateside, making a healthy profit overseas even though critics approved by and large of the film.

Bloom scored his part as a soldier who breaks his back. Bloom convinced the casting director he should get the part because he had broken his back twice (this almost derailed his acting career). It worked, but did little to boost anyone’s star status as all the faces of jar-heads in helmets become interchangeable within the film.

LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS (2002)

Orlando Bloom - The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers - 2002
Orlando Bloom – The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers – 2002

The second film in the trilogy built on everything that made the first one the success it was. It still had a less than $100 million dollar budget, and inched even closer to the billion dollar threshold than the first film. This has even more spectacular action (which in the books is dismissed in a few pages in favor of songs and poems) and keeps alive the dark middle entry in the trilogy thing going. It’s a wonderful film for anyone that loves movies, fantasy, or action. For my money Viggo Mortenson is the best actor there, and has subsequently proved that. And for anyone that can’t get enough, Jackson released near 4 hour cuts of each of the LOTR trilogy. More critical love, more academy award noms, and more money.

NED KELLY (2003)

Orlando Bloom - Ned Kelly - 2002
Orlando Bloom – Ned Kelly – 2004

The second of his non-LOTR films, and his first misstep. Ned Kelly is a mess of a film starring Heath Ledger as the notorious Australian outlaw. Bloom plays a member of his gang and friend. The movie did not impress critics, and was a bomb, barely making any money worldwide. It’s kind of like the Australian Jesse James, but it didn’t play across the sea. It’s choppy and stilted, and does nothing to make Ledger or Bloom’s life easier, it also wastes the talents of Geoffrey Rush and Naomi Watts.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL (2003)

Orlando Bloom - Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl - 2003
Orlando Bloom – Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl – 2003

Through a long a troubled history, and against all odds and sense, Disney arrived with a film version of their iconic theme park ride. To boot it was directed by a relatively unproven Gore Verbinski.  The role of  Jack Sparrow had been offered to every actor. Ever. Robert De Niro, Jim Carrey, Christopher Walken, Hugh Jackman (who it was written for), Michael Keaton, Matthew McConaughey, and Cary Elwes all on the list. After burning through all the front-runners, oddball Johnny Depp won the part. It’s hard to conceive now, but before this Depp was never a box office draw. He did his own thing, and marched to the beat of  his own drum.

Orlando Bloom scored a major supporting role as Will Turner beating out Heath Ledger, Ewan McGregor, Christian Bale, Jude Law, and Toby Maguire for the role. Add in Keira Knightley and Geoffrey Rush and you have an improbably cast for an improbable film. It was supposed to bomb like every other pirate movie has. It defied all odds and became a cultural phenomenon, launching Depp’s career into the stratosphere, and bringing Disney a hit. Critics were relatively positive, loving Depps performance (he scored an Oscar nomination!), which he described as Peppy Le Pew meets Keith Richards. The swashbuckling humor, huge action pieces, and convoluted plot of double-crosses had audiences dying to come back for more.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING (2003)

Orlando Bloom - Lord of the Rings: Return of the King - 2003
Orlando Bloom – Lord of the Rings: Return of the King – 2003

The final (nope) installment in the LOTR trilogy arrived Christmas of 2003 to great fanfare. It was just as loved by critics, and finally crossed the billion mark. The film is great, except it ends at least 5 different times. Seriously. It’s like Jackson couldn’t stand to let it go. It becomes almost comical.

There’s nothing more to say really, they’re landmark films that should be watched. Legolas became a fan favorite and no matter what the hell happens to Bloom, he will always have that character ingrained in pop culture history like a Lando Calrissian.

CALCIUM KID (2004)

Orlando Bloom - Calcium Kid - 2004
Orlando Bloom – Calcium Kid – 2004

I’ve got to admit, I had never heard of this one before. I’m betting neither had you. It’s apparently a mockumentary about a milkman (Bloom) who accidentally knocks out the world champ while sparring with him, and is lined up for the big fight. It’s apparently a comedy. It has probably the worst title for the film in the history of titles for films. There are hardly reviews online for it, so I’ll just assume nobody has ever seen it. Moving on.

TROY (2004)

Orlando Bloom - Troy - 2004
Orlando Bloom – Troy – 2004

I suppose Bloom was hoping to be this generation’s Errol Flynn, just doing swashbuckling heroic films and relying on charisma to get by. It worked for Flynn. Not so much here. Troy is the story of Homer’s The Iliad, that we all know, directed by future WTHH director Wolfgang Petersen, starring Brad Pitt and Eric Bana, and our boy Bloom. He stars as Paris, who basically starts this whole war by being in love. Ahh, the greeks love that stuff. His Paris was considered for his first Razzie nomination.

I suppose viewed as the competitor to Oliver Stone’s Alexander, it’s not that bad. Pitt is appropriately masculine and broody as moody Achilles. But mostly the film is just bloated and stiff and has too much Hollywood in it. Critics were mixed to meh about the whole endeavor and it failed to recoup it’s budget in the US, however a large foreign audience gave it a healthy profit. It was another large ensemble action film that Bloom was a part of, rather than the head of, you probably see where this is going.

HAVEN (2004)

Orlando Bloom - Haven - 2004
Orlando Bloom – Haven – 2004

Bloom stars in and exec produced this indie film, that dumps itself into the Tarantino-wannabe category and is dismissed just as quickly. It uses a non-linear structure and tons of circumstances and coincidences (read: contrivances and manufactured conflict) to tell two stories that eventually interweave, with Bloom playing a fisherman in love. Critics savaged the little thriller, calling it trashy and overly-ambitious. Bloom’s performance was just as poorly received with one critic noting”

“If Bloom doesn’t do something about his smirky tendency to troll for audience approval, his career may be severely limited.”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN(2005)

Orlando Bloom - Kingdom of Heaven - 2005
Orlando Bloom – Kingdom of Heaven – 2005

Ridley Scott goes back to the well one too many times, trying to replicate Gladiator‘s success with another historical epic, this one taking place during the crusades, and featuring Bloom as the lead character, a former smith who joins the fray for honor and such. He ends up defending a city and it’s people during the Crusades and seeing there is not true good or evil, on either side.

Scott defended the casting of Bloom saying people ridiculed him for casting Russell Crowe in Gladiator at the time.  But let me tell you, Bloom is no Russell Crowe. He’s a wet napkin of a lead, and is not helped by the messy production around him. His performance was considered for a Razzie.

This marks the first time Bloom’s range is really exposed. It’s his first shot to really carry a film of this magnitude, rather than just playing in it. He’s stripped of his smirky character, and tries to play it straight. There’s nothing there. He’s a cipher, and is bland. Not to mention the Alexander-esque theatrical cut just doesn’t make any sense.  I watched the 4 hour version, and while not great, at least the film gels somewhat.

Kingdom of Heaven features a large cast of Liam Neeson, Michael Sheen, and an uncredited Edward Norton. Critics weren’t favorable toward the film, but most noted that it had suffered in the editing room, and forgave that in favor of seeing the longer version. It bombed in the US, falling a $100 mill short of it’s budget, but made a small profit overseas.

ELIZABETHTOWN (2005)

Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst - Elizabethtown - 2004
Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst – Elizabethtown – 2005

Bloom seems like a natural fit for Cameron Crowe who was getting back to his roots after the not-so-successful Vanilla Sky (call me what you want, I love that movie). Bloom seems tailor made for romantic comedies, being good looking, likable, and not that having a sort of pretty-boy masculinity. Comedy also seemed to be more his wheelhouse more than straight drama, and teaming with the then-hot Kirsten Dunst. It all sounded so good on paper.

Elizabethtown tells the story of a man on the verge of suicide, who travels home for his father’s funeral. On the way he meets a (manic pixie dream) girl who changes his outlook on life.

However the movie misfired. Bad. Crowe only fell further from grace with this.  His dependence on soundtrack, gooey hearted feel good laughs, and the travelogue love story all ringing false. Too much epic new age wisdom and not enough romantic farce.  Bloom plays more morose and suicidal than would suit his strengths. His American accent was also criticized.

Bloom was in the running for a Razzie. Critics disliked the film, most pointing to the superior Garden State by writer/director/star Zach Braff, as the better musical romance of the time. That stings. It bombed in the BO, and barely broke even worldwide. Woops.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST (2006)

Orlando Bloom - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - 2006
Orlando Bloom – Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest – 2006

Disney filmed the last two Pirates installments back to back after the huge success of the first one. All the principal cast returned, and more were added to the mix. However, the sequel didn’t garner the critical love the first did, most pointing to an overly-convoluted story and too many characters bogging down the fun. Audiences didn’t care, making the second an even bigger hit, scoring a billion dollars (even though the budget had ballooned from the original’s $130 mill to $225 mill), and setting the stage for number three. Bloom retreated back into safe waters, and racked up another hit, albeit as a supporting character.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (2007)

Orlando Bloom - Pirates of the Carribena: At World's End - 2007
Orlando Bloom – Pirates of the Carribena: At World’s End – 2007

The third film in the franchise clunked its bloated carcass into theaters with much much more of a muchness in 2007. It’s even bigger, longer, and so much double-crossing that at some point you just don’t care. Whatever charm the original had is completely buried by unnecessary plot and complication that it becomes a chore. Critics were even less impressed, and it should be noted that the budget had sprung up to $300 million (dear god) and didn’t quite make it to the billion dollar mark, marking a drop in the series.

Unfortunately that would not deter the producers from following with a fourth (terrible) film, though Bloom didn’t come back for that one, his character was written out. He says he would be open to coming back for the fifth. Yea. I bet you would.

SYMPATHY FOR DELICIOUS (2010)

bloom sympathy_for_delicious
Orlando Bloom – Sympathy For Delicious – 2010

After a hiatus, Bloom made a return in this little-seen indie, which happens to be the directorial debut of Mark Ruffalo. Bloom has a supporting part, playing a character called The Stain. It challenges my assumption that Calcium Kid is the worst name for a movie ever. I could be wrong already. It follows a DJ who becomes paralyzed and homeless. He becomes a faith healer who can heal others but not himself. Just typing this it sounds preposterous. It was not well received by critics, and didn’t make an impact on the festival circuit.

MAIN STREET (2010)

Orlando Bloom - Main Street - 2010
Orlando Bloom – Main Street – 2010

This is based on an unproduced screenplay by famous writer Horton Foote. It stars a bunch of English actors in a small southern town drama (sensing an issue?). A bunch of residents of a small North Carolina town in the 40s are upset when a stranger arrives with plans to save the decaying town. It sounds like The Rainmaker. Colin Firth and Vanessa Redgrave costar. It basically went to DVD and got terrible reviews by those who saw it.

THE GOOD DOCTOR (2011)

bloom good doctor
Orlando Bloom – The Good Doctor – 2011

A direct to DVD story of a doctor (Bloom) who falls in love with his patient, so he starts poisoning her to keep her hospitalized, obviously. The film received bad reviews and arrived with little fanfare. Bloom was officially no longer a star. The melodrama never really goes anywhere worth going, however Bloom got decent reviews for his performance, as he descended into madness.

THE THREE MUSKETEERS (2011)

THE THREE MUSKETEERS
Orlando Bloom – The Three Musketeers – 2011

He made his (not so) triumphant return to the big screen after four years from his last appearance, in a supporting role in Paul WS Anderson’s (totally unnecessary) take on the Three Musketeers story. Anderson shouldn’t be confused with auteurs Paul Thomas Anderson (Magnolia, There Will be Blood) or Wes Anderson (Royal Tennebaums, Moonrise Kingdom). No. He gave us Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil, though I confess to liking Event Horizon. It says something that unknowns are given the leads while Bloom is cast in a small part. The film was savaged by critics, and bombed domestically. It however made a small profit worldwide, thanks to a modest budget. Bloom also looks ridiculous.

THE HOBBIT: DESOLATION OF SMAUG (2013)

Orlando Bloom - The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug - 2013
Orlando Bloom – The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug – 2013

Everyone goes back to the well here. Jackson has done nothing but prove he has nothing left to give outside of Middle Earth, so he came crawling back. The Hobbit is a short children’s book. So of course Jackson decided it needed to be a 9 hour trilogy action epic, because hobbit logic. Bloom returned in the second film because he had absolutely nothing else going on (Mortensen refused). The Hobbit movies were both met with trepidation by critics, who inevitably compared them to the far superior LOTR. The second Hobbit didn’t do as well in theaters, despite being more liked than the ponderous and unnecessary first film.

I’m convinced that between the three movies there is one good one. The first film could be shortened to one hour, the second to one, and the third to one, each comprising of an act to a single really good movie. Although I hesitate to call them really good. Jackson lost sight of what made the originals great, with each Hobbit‘s budget $50 mill larger than the LOTR. They are also heavy with CGI instead of makeup, and the digital filming techniques make it less pleasant to watch. None of this is Bloom’s fault, but I needed to rant. Of course there will be extended editions of DVD. 12 hours. For a 300 page book full of songs and poems.

ZULU & HOBBIT 3 (2014)

bloom zulu
Orlando Bloom – Zulu – 2014

Bloom starred in an independent African set thriller with Forest Whitaker called Zulu. It received harsh reviews at Cannes, as unpleasant and cliche ridden. He will also appear in the third Hobbit film, which will probably be as bad as Pirates 3.

So, what the hell happened?

Orlando Bloom came out of nowhere. Literally. In no time he was a part of one of the biggest franchises in history. Throughout his career he’s never had disastrous rumors or behavioral issues. Like most actors who come from nowhere and get saddled with an iconic character, he never could distance himself. He was even lucky enough to get into another huge franchise, but his character (or his inability to play a different character) was to similar to what he’d already done. And he was always a part of a large ensemble with more beloved and well-recognized actors.

Bloom was treated pretty harshly, he only had two real leading A-list roles, and both flopped unceremoniously, and he was discarded as quick as he had come. I’ll go as far as to say that Bloom is just not that talented of an actor. His range is extremely limited, his boyish looks keep him from having any real gravitas, and he played the same smirky swashbuckling, arrogant, sidekick-hero. Audiences and directors had seen enough. He’s still young, in his 30s, and has a chance to keep working. But it’s likely that he’ll stick to small or English films in the near future.

You’ll notice as Christian Bale or Hugh Jackman had their star-making franchises, in the in between years, they did films to expand their range, and increase their status. Bloom never did. Whether that was a choice, a mistake, or that he simply doesn’t have the talent of those two is up for debate (not really, he’s not that talented). Eventually you’ll get exposed. It’s just what the hell happens.

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jeffthewildman
10 years ago

Depp seems like a good candidate. I was thinking about tackling him after I finish Stallone.

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  dwmcguff

For me, Depp is still about as big of a star as there is. He’s going through a slump. But stars have slumps. I can see the reasoning behind wanting to write him up. As you say, he has gone from one of the most interesting actors in Hollywood to a guy doing tired shtick. But Lone Ranger aside, I still think he’s relevant.

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  dwmcguff

Totally agree. When you say he is creatively bankrupt, I think you’re right on the money. And I do think his audience has turned on him. But in spite of that, I still think he’s A-list. For now.

jeffthewildman
10 years ago
Reply to  lebeau

In some ways I think the basic problem with Depp is that the Pirate movies led to him being typecast. Since the original Pirates he seems to be playing variations on Jack Sparrow with a few exceptions And most of those exceptions are under seen at the box office.I would recommend he work with different directors than Verbinski or Burton for a while.

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  jeffthewildman

I second that emotion.
Burton should find Michael Keaton’s phone number.

Shemp
10 years ago
Reply to  lebeau

It’s almost like Depp has become the rich man’s Crispin Glover…you know, the zany, eccentric, MOST UNFORGETTABLE CHARACTER you’ve EVER MET…and you, duh Viewer, are always aware that he’s capital-A acting. In other words, a parody of himself. (Sorry for the rant, but I was REALLY disappointed in “The Rum Diary” [more bad script than bad Depp, but still] and “The Lone Ranger.”)

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  Shemp

The thing about Glover is that being a weirdo was his whole thing. He couldn’t not be weird. Even when he wasn’t capital-A acting. Or was he ever not? Who knows. That grew old real quick. Getting banned from Letterman may get you a headline, but it also prevents you from promoting your movies. Not that I think Glover cares. Depp is a more traditional movie star who could have coasted through the 90s on his looks and probably would have been forgotten shortly after if he had done so. Instead, he developed an alternate quirky routine which served him… Read more »

Terrence Clay (@TMC1982)
Reply to  lebeau

I feel kind of bad for Crispin Glover, because it seemed quite apparent that David Letterman wasn’t in on the joke. Glover wasn’t the first or last celebrity guest to “troll” David Letterman by acting weird (e.g. Andy Kaufman and Joaquin Phoenix). To make matters worse, the movie that Glover was promoting (he was pretty much in-character on “Letterman” the whole time) wouldn’t be released for at least four years. Thus, the entire context of the incident was completely lost. Crispin Glover turning down an opportunity to reprise his “star making” role as George McFly in the “Back to the… Read more »

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago

The thing is, Letterman worked out those stunts with Kaufman and Phoenix in advance. And no one tried to kick him in the face.

Richey
Richey
9 years ago

He didn’t turn down the role of George Mcfly in the sequels, he asked too much money.

frug
frug
10 years ago
Reply to  lebeau

I agree that he still relevant and an A-Lister and he could just be in a slump, but as I noted in the “Who Are the Current A-list Actresses” article if you go by Vulture’s star ratings and just factor in box office results and studio value, Depp is “only” the 21st ranked actor which is a massive slide for a guy who would have ranked in the top 5 just a couple years ago. (And it can’t all be blamed on Lone Ranger because Dark Shadows lost money two after factoring in marketing costs and the theaters take). Personally,… Read more »

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  frug

Dark Shadows was definitely another strike in Depp’s career. The Tourist, which didn’t bomb, certainly disappointed given the supposed star power of Jolie and Depp. I agree that his star is waning he is veering into WTHH territory. But I also think he could turn it around with one picture. Really, how many actors have the international box office drawing power Depp has even now? Not many I’d wager.

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago

Thanks for the catch. Didn’t realize Bloom was younger than my oldest daughter! 😉

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago

Another strong article. Bloom is a natural fit for the series. I don’t think you’re going out on any limbs when you say he was basically a pretty face. But he was somehow lucky enough to be cast in two major movie franchises at the start of his career. I will confess I enjoyed Pirates 2 and 3 despite the fact they made no sense. 3 is just ridiculous. You can’t keep track of who is backstabbing who. And you know that no one really is. I doubt the actors could keep track of what their motivation was supposed to… Read more »

daffystardust
Editor
10 years ago
Reply to  dwmcguff

I would say that the Johansson character in Her says a lot more about Phoenix’s character than it does about any living woman.

Shemp
10 years ago
Reply to  dwmcguff

NOT to get too far afield, but MAYBE you can do an article (heck, I might even want to contribute) on the “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” factor/trope/cliche/movie device. Yeah, file under “only in the movies” wherein REALLY CUTE, PERKY & QUIRKY gals are attracted to mope-y/depressed guys. Of course, it helps if the depressed guy looks like Orlee Bloom or one of those good-lookin’ fellers. (I’ve been depressed a good chunk of my life and I can count the MPDGs I’ve met on the fingers of one hand (not counting the index finger, pinkie, middle-finger or thumb.) Also, I’ve found… Read more »

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  Shemp

Driver’s definitely on the list.
I make fun of the MPDG trope same as everyone else. But in my 20’s, I was a total sucker for MPDGs in movies. I’m not proud of that, but I’m not gonna lie about it either. I loved Almost Famous and that was a total MPDG movie.

daffystardust
Editor
10 years ago

British actors actually pull off American southern dialects pretty well quite a lot of the time. The two dialects share some features. Benedict Cumberbatch, for example, has recently appeared in two separate dramas set in the south this year. He is a standout in both 12 Years a Slave and in August: Osage County, which are Oscar-nominated films.

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  daffystardust

The exception seems to be The Walking Dead where I don’t think the British actors have ever heard a Southerner speak. Sometimes I question whether or not they have ever heard another human speak.

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  dwmcguff

As bad as Andrew Lincoln’s Southern accent is, I think David Morrissey’s was worse. I think the two of them were in some kind of secret over-acting competition like Shatner and Montalban in Star Trek II.

Craig Hansen
Craig Hansen
10 years ago

The first Pirates of the Carribean was much more fun and charming than it had any right to be. I’ll go ahead and say it, I loved that movie, it’s one I wind up re-watching again every so often on DVD. Looking through the list of actors who Bloom beat out for the role (Ledger, McGregor, Maguire, Bale, etc.), all of those actors are talented, let’s be honest all of those that were in competition have more range than Bloom, and yet I think Bloom was better in that role than any of those other actors would’ve been as Will… Read more »

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  Craig Hansen

I couldn’t agree with you more. Pirates should have been terrible. And it wasn’t exactly good. But it was lots of fun. And the role of Will really did call for a bland, handsome guy. Bale would have been too much.

Dar
Dar
10 years ago

He’s a good actor who I think hasn’t picked good starring roles, is all. He reminds me of DiCaprio to be honest, though maybe a bit more stilted.
One more thing, for the life of me I can’t figure him English. He looks more Iberian or Italian.

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  Dar

I probably haven’t seen enough of Bloom’s work to be completely fair. I’m pretty sure I have only seen him in the Pirates and Lord of the Rings trilogies. But I don’t think he is anywhere near the same league as DiCaprio. The only thing I think the two actors share is boyish good looks. DiCaprio is a talented actor. Bloom is a good-looking place-holder.

Fanny S. {l'artiste} (@kissugirlz)

I disagree with you. He is a good actor. He showed he could be a rock star or a doctor, and to me, Will is totally different to Legolas. Actually, I don’t even think I recognized him the first time (wig, mustache, latino-style). But ya know, Bloom or Bale (or whoever else), I don’t think it could have been better, this character just does not requires so much skills… He wasn’t bad in Kingdom of Heaven, so I wonder if we saw the same movie… Sometimes people tend to dislike the actors who are boyish and too much loved by… Read more »

Michelle
Michelle
10 years ago

The problem with Bloom is the opportunity cost of casting him, instead of an actor with more charisma and range. I’m quite happy to see him in minor supporting roles. As a lover of Ridley Scott’s historical films and the medieval period in general, I deeply resent him in Kingdom of Heaven.
By the way, I just found your blog–how have I been missing this? I’m looking forward to catching up.

Shemp
10 years ago
Reply to  Michelle

re: I deeply resent him in Kingdom of Heaven.
You’re overlooking the possibility of last-minute Repentance.
😉

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  Michelle

Welcome. I’m glad you finally found us. Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Craig Hansen
Craig Hansen
10 years ago
Reply to  lebeau

This article inspired me to watch the Pirates trilogy over the weekend (see, the WTTH series can inspire people to do things!) My impressions: the first Pirates has a really fun, charming, infectious, swash-buckling spirit to it. I’ll go ahead and admit that I love watching that movie, and it really speaks volumes about Johnny Depp’s performance as Jack Sparrow that he actually snagged an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor; it’s very rare for the Oscars to ever recognize acting in anything but serious dramatic films. Depp was a revelation, but really everone was in top form in the… Read more »

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  Craig Hansen

I think the problem with Pirates 3 is that it is the most expensive movie ever made. There is a point of diminishing returns. Bigger isn’t always better. In movies, mo money often equals mo problems.
The funniest thing to me is to watch the making-of features on the sequels. Everyone involved was convinced they were making a timeless classic like The Wizard of Oz. Uh, yeah.

jeffthewildman
10 years ago
Reply to  lebeau

“In movies, mo money often equals mo problems” Good Biggie paraphrase 🙂 The original Pirates would have been a great one-off. But of course once it became a smash Disney saw dollar signs and sequels became a necessity. The main problem with both sequels is that by trying to cram too much in, they made it seem like work. If they’d just been lightweight fun or at least offered action on the level of say the Mission Impossible movies, okay. But they became more and more bloated with each one. I still have yet to see the fourth. On the… Read more »

Craig Hansen
Craig Hansen
10 years ago
Reply to  jeffthewildman

After sitting through two sub-par Pirates films over the weekend, I can’t imagine sitting through any more of these. I still love the first one and will still watch it from time to time over the years, but otherwise Capt. Jack Sparrow can sail on without me.

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  Craig Hansen

I half-watched the 4th one on cable. It was pared down from the previous two films. Which was a good thing. But it was kind of a snooze. Jack Sparrow is a great supporting character. Returns diminish when he is the lead. The 4th film has a new pair of star crossed lovers that make you miss Bloom and Knightley (mostly Knightley). I would be interested in a 5th Pirates if it was able to recapture the fun of the original. If they could bring back Bloom and Knightley and give those characters a proper ending, so much the better.… Read more »

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  jeffthewildman

I shudder at the thought of a franchise based on the Eddie Murphy Haunted Mansion. Spooooky.
I go back to the attitude of everyone involved in the sequels. They were flush with success. They were very serious about making timeless classics that would be treasured for generations to come. So they took everything way too seriously. The same attitude ruined Spielberg’s Hook. When you try to make an important movie, odds are you will miss the mark. Just make a good movie instead.
(yeah, I know. if it was that easy everyone would do it.)

daffystardust
Editor
10 years ago
Reply to  jeffthewildman

I’m a big Haunted Mansion fan, so I’m hopeful that the reboot in the hands go Guillermo Del Toro as producer will leave us with something more worthy to represent what is one of the greatest theme park attractions ever built.

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  daffystardust

Is that still on? Del Toro is infamous for talking about projects and then letting them fade away. Last I heard, the Del Toro Haunted Mansion probably wasn’t happening.

daffystardust
Editor
10 years ago
Reply to  lebeau

I read an article late last year in which it seemed like he was taking pains to find the exact right writer to finish up the script. It could be that the project is, in fact, in “development hell,” but for the time being I’m going to go on pretending that the project is going to happen, because…well…it makes me happy.

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  daffystardust

I’m choosing to be pleasantly surprised if it ever sees the light of day.
I wonder if there is a subject we can’t take back to theme parks.

Terrence Clay (@TMC1982)

Here’s a response that I got when I posted this article on UseNet: https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.fan.tolkien/QBG4KudYQ3c/QDWKgd9-NcQJ You can argue whether or not Jackson’s adaptation is faithful (hint: it’s not. Tolkein writing has more in common with the Encyclopedia Brittanica than it does an action film) A small hint: If I were to go out to Usenet to promote my blog, I’m not sure going straight to newsgroup.fans.name-of-author and insulting said author is a good strategy. There’s nothing more to say really, they’re landmark films that should be watched. Legolas became a fan favorite and no matter what the hell happens to Bloom,… Read more »

lebeau
Admin
10 years ago
Reply to  dwmcguff

This kind of thing happens. I’ve gotten used to it. No offense to Terrence, but a lot of people react negatively to the way he posts links in various forums. I personally don’t mind. I think he’s providing links you can choose to follow or ignore. I honestly don’t have time to keep up with all of them. Typically, people assume that Terrence is the author of the article and that he is spamming his blog or trolling for a reaction. So you get some pretty aggressive reactions. I think this poster is responding in this tone because he objects… Read more »

Terrence Clay (@TMC1982)

Career Prospectus: Orlando Bloom: http://www.laineygossip.com/Career-Prospectus-Orlando-Bloom/29911?categoryId=1290 Ever since we started this series, we’ve received repeated requests for Orlando Bloom. He’s been mentioned several times in other people’s prospectuses, but has somehow escaped having one of his own. But since Bloom just got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame—who is paying for it?!—it seems like a good time to examine what’s going on with Orlando Bloom, who was, not too long ago, one of the most famous people on the planet. Now he’s mostly famous for being Miranda Kerr’s baby daddy. What happened? When I was in college, no one… Read more »

Terrence Clay (@TMC1982)

10 Actors Who Clearly Didn’t Learn Anything From Past Mistakes: http://whatculture.com/film/10-actors-who-clearly-didnt-learn-anything-from-past-mistakes.php/7 Orlando Bloom There was a time when Orlando Bloom had a novel appeal. After his bit part in Black Hawk Down, which basically amounted to him falling out of the titular helicopter (still his best role), Bloom turned himself into a global heartbreaker with his appearance as Legolas in The Lord Of The Rings. In those films Bloom rather limited repertoire served him well; he was simply one part of a large, sprawling ensemble, and both his elven genetics and the way he was directed meant he didn’t act… Read more »

Terrence Clay (@TMC1982)

7 Actors Who Were Expected To Make It Big But Didn’t! http://www.fame10.com/entertainment/7-actors-who-were-expected-to-make-it-big-but-didnt/2/ Orlando Bloom When he had roles in the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy and the “Pirates Caribbean” franchise, Orlando Bloom was one of the most famous people on the planet. However, since his success in those films, he hasn’t exactly launched a megastar career, despite having shown so much potential. The last time we saw him on screen was in parts two and three of “The Hobbit,” which can mean only one of two things – he is after a paycheck or he is unable to lock down… Read more »

bodwaya
bodwaya
9 years ago

law and farell are more leading man material then him bloom has never carried a movie by himself lord of the rings and pirates are supporting roles. i dont see him in the future winning Oscar . He should accept that find a 3rd potential franchisee to rid off of

peyton
peyton
9 years ago

How about an entry for Julia Ormond? I know her time as a star was so brief she might not be a consideration, but she seemed poised for greatness after Legends of the Fall, but then disappeared. Now she only appears sporadically is supporting roles.

lebeau
Admin
9 years ago
Reply to  peyton

Julia Ormond has been on my mind lately. I’m not sure if she will get a WTHH or not. But eventually, I will write about her in some capacity.

bodwaya
bodwaya
9 years ago

how about warren his movie town and country bombed.or better yet kevin bacon spacey there movie career tanked there doing tv now

bodwaya
bodwaya
9 years ago

do you think dennis quaid ever made a list lebeau my friend and i are having this debate i mean you think you will have him in site

lebeau
Admin
9 years ago
Reply to  bodwaya

Nope. Quaid was never A-list. He will probably be a WTHH subject someday, but not any time soon.

bodwaya
bodwaya
9 years ago

i knew it quaid made alot of flops he never had a hit movie to be honest iam glad hes not an a list hes a bad actor

shitbrick
shitbrick
9 years ago

warren beatty james caan diane keaton

shitbrick
shitbrick
9 years ago

james caan diane keaton

shitbrick
shitbrick
9 years ago

bloom is underatted

shitbrick
shitbrick
9 years ago

kevin bacon could be in it hes good actor but with exception of xmen his movies are flopping and his tv show sucks kind of like spacey

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