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Category Archives: Worst to First

Worst to First: Ranking the Planet of the Apes movies


The ninth movie in the Planet of the Apes saga opens in theaters today.   That can only mean one thing.  It’s time to rank some Apes.  The first movie, released in 1968, was an adaptation of a French science-fiction novel (La Planète des Singes by Pierre Boulle).  That movie was followed by four sequels released annually from 1970-1973, a live-action TV series, a cartoon series and waves of Apes-related merchandise.  After a twenty-eight year absence from the big screen, Fox attempted to reboot the series, but their first effort was a misfire.  Then in 2011, they successfully launched a trilogy of prequels of which War for the Planet of the Apes is the most recent.

We won’t be ranking the latest movie because most of us (myself included) haven’t seen it yet.  But we will go ape (had to be done) ranking the rest of the movies in the series.

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Worst to First: Ranking the Spider-Man Movies


We’re looking forward to tonight’s release of the new Spider-Man movie, Spider-Man: Homecoming with another of our “Worst to First” articles. I’m not sure I’ll offer too many surprises on the top end here, but there might be a little bit of suspense in the lower half. Since most of us will not have seen the new film, we’ll only be ranking the existing five for the time being. If you have seen the newest solo Spider-Man flick already, feel free to share your non-spoiler thoughts here in the comments section.
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Worst to First: Ranking the Alien movies


In a crowded summer movie season, Ridley Scott’s latest entry in the Alien prequel series has gotten squeezed out at the box office despite decent reviews.  What does that mean for the future of the Alien franchise?  It’s hard to say at this point, but it seems like as good a time as any to rank the Alien movies from worst to first.

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Worst To First: Ranking The X-Men Movies


Hugh Jackman hung up his claws earlier this year with his final performance as Wolverine in Logan.  The ending of the Jackman-as-Wolvie era got me to thinking about the X-Men movies on the whole. How do they rank when you stack em all up together?

Here, as opposed to other series tackled in the Worst To First series, the overall quality is somewhat higher. When you add together the 10 X-Men movies , 6 are very good, two are passable and the other two are a toss-up as to which is worse. Here, we will sort out the good mutants from the bad and the ugly.  And of course, you will get to share your rankings as well.

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Worst to First: Ranking the Pirates of the Caribbean Movies


Fans of the Pirates of the Caribbean rides at Disney theme parks have always known that dead men tell no tales.  Amazingly Disney managed to release four Pirates movies without using the memorable catch-phrase as a subtitle.  Today sees the release of the fifth and supposedly final entry in the Pirates franchise.  So it seems like as good of a time as any to rank the Pirates of the Caribbean movies from Worst to First.

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Worst to First: Ranking the Star Wars Movies


Happy Star Wars Day, everyone!  To celebrate May 4th (“May the Fourth be with you”, get it?) I’m going to rank all eight of the live-action theatrical Star Wars films from Worst to First.  As usual, you’re invited to play along.  Reader rankings will be shared in a follow-up post.  I have a bad feeling about this, but let’s get to ranking.

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Worst to First: Ranking the Sequels of 1997


1997-sequels

As the current bracket game demonstrates, 1997 was a pretty good year to be a movie lover.  Whether you’re looking for popcorn movies or award-winners, 1997 had something for everyone.  But it turns out, it wasn’t such a great year for sequels.  Eleven sequels were released during the year and most of them were not very memorable.  But we’re going to rank them from worst to first anyway because… why not?

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Worst to First: Ranking the Sequels of 1987


sequels-of-87

A little later today, we will crown the winner of our Movies of 1987 Bracket Game.  But before we close the book on 1987, I thought it would be fun to look at the sequels which were released that year.  None of these movies were included in the bracket game largely because most of them weren’t very memorable.  Still, a couple of them endure and it’s fun to laugh at the others.  So let’s get to ranking the sequels of 1987.

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Worst To First: Ranking the Batman Movies


Batman Actors

Next Friday, Superman and Batman will appear on the big screen for the first time.  Leading up to the release of Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, we’ll be looking back at the cinematic history of the Man of Steel and the Dark Knight.  Last week, we ranked the Superman movies.  So now it’s Batman’s turn.

On the whole, Batman has fared better than Superman at the movies.  But overall, most of his movies still aren’t very good.

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Worst To First: Ranking the Superman Movies


Superman-Actors

Later this month, Superman and Batman will appear on the big screen for the first time.  Leading up to the release of Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, we’ll be looking back at the cinematic history of the Man of Steel and the Dark Knight.  To kick things off, we’re going to rank the Superman movies from worst to first.

Let me start off by saying something that is very hard for me to say as a lifelong Superman fan.  Most of the movies featuring the Last Son of Krypton aren’t very good.  There’s really only two that are worth watching.  For the rest of the bunch, we’re splitting hairs to determine which belong at the bottom of the barrel.

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Worst to First: My Star Wars toys


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As classic as the original trilogy of Star Wars movies was, who are we kidding? The lasting love many of us have for George Lucas’ space opera series has at least as much to do with the associated toys we managed to get our hands on. After all, Star Wars and its immediate sequel The Empire Strike Back, were released at a time when home video had not yet become prevalent. Even when Return of the Jedi hit theaters in 1983, mainstream U.S. consumers were still a year or two away from thinking of watching movies at home as something that could be a common occurrence. Without the ability to constantly revisit the movies, we reinforced the existing stories we’d seen on the big screen and invented more stories of our own through the time-honored tradition of play.

George Lucas famously held onto licensing rights when his contract was written up for the making of the first movie, and we all helped to make him a very rich man. In a sense, we are guilty of creating the circumstances under which the reviled prequels happened. But nobody was actually prepared for how popular Star Wars would become. The movie opened as a ‘B’ feature and got kicked out of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood after just two weeks because of a pre-existing contract. Kenner secured the licensing for creating toys, but couldn’t produce them fast enough, leading to kids going to Sears and coming home with a piece of cardboard promising them a set of action figures once the darn things got made. My parents wouldn’t buy us a piece of cardboard, but as soon as the figures were actually in the store they happily let us choose one. I don’t think they quite understood at the time that wouldn’t be close to the end of it.

For several years these were some of my favorite and most coveted toys. I didn’t come close to collecting it all, but I sure feel like I got my share. Join me as I rank my favorites!
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Worst To First: Ranking the Rocky Movies


Rocky Posters

Today is the opening day for Creed, a spin-off from the long-running Rocky franchise in which Sylvester Stallone plays Rocky Balboa for the seventh time.  That’s a lot of “Yo Adrians!”  As the Italian Stallion passes the baton to the next generation, I’m going to rank the Rockies from worst to first.  And of course readers will get a chance to do the same.

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Worst To First: Ranking the Terminator Movies


Terminator Movie Posters

This week, the latest Terminator movie, Terminator Genisys, was released to video.  Based on the movie’s underwhelming domestic grosses, a lot of you probably decided to skip Genisys in theaters.  Now that everyone can run out to Redbox to pick up a copy, I thought it would be a fine time to see where the fifth entry in the Terminator series fits in.  First, I’m going to rank the Terminator movies from worst to first and then you will get a chance to do the same.

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