Blog Archives

Worst to First: Ranking the Planet of the Apes movies

The ninth movie in the Planet of the Apes saga opens in theaters today.   That can only mean one thing.  It’s time to rank some Apes.  The first movie, released in 1968, was an adaptation of a French science-fiction novel (La Planète des Singes by Pierre Boulle).  That movie was followed by four sequels released annually from 1970-1973, a live-action TV series, a cartoon series and waves of Apes-related merchandise.  After a twenty-eight year absence from the big screen, Fox attempted to reboot the series, but their first effort was a misfire.  Then in 2011, they successfully launched a trilogy of prequels of which War for the Planet of the Apes is the most recent.

We won’t be ranking the latest movie because most of us (myself included) haven’t seen it yet.  But we will go ape (had to be done) ranking the rest of the movies in the series.

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Mark Wahlberg: The Boogie Man

Mark Wahlberg is a movie star.  You don’t question that any more.  Next week he’s going to be headlining another Transformers movie.  Once upon a time, Wahlberg had to fight to be taken seriously as an actor.  He was still seen as Marky Mark of the Funky Bunch, rapper and underwear model.  Prior to Boogie Nights, Wahlberg had been making inroads towards respectability.  But Boogie Nights changed all that.  After his performance as Dirk Diggler, people started taking Wahlberg seriously.  In this interview from the June 1997 issue of Movieline magazine, Wahlberg talked about his burgeoning movie career.

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June 5: Happy Birthday Mark Wahlberg and Kenny G


Mark Wahlberg is turning 46 today.  During a troubled youth that included at least one assault and battery conviction, he began a music career—first, briefly, as a member of New Kids on the Block alongside older brother Donnie, then as a rapper, using the performing name of Marky Mark.  He began working regularly in film in the mid-nineties, in films such as The Basketball Diaries and the critically acclaimed Boogie NightsThree Kings was another critical success, while The Perfect Storm was the first big box office success of his career.

In the early 2000s, Wahlberg appeared in several films that were remakes or reworkings of previous movies—Planet of the Apes, The Truth About Charlie (based on Charade), and The Italian JobI Heart Huckabees reunited him with Three Kings director David O. Russell, and in 2006 he received his first Oscar nomination for The Departed, as a Massachusetts State Police sergeant who uses just a teensy bit of profanity from time to time.

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Why’d it bomb? Ted 2

Ted (2012) was a surprising success at the box office, grossing over $200 million dollars in America alone! While Ted 2 didn’t exactly bomb, it failed to make quite as much as its predecessor. In fact, it made $216 million worldwide while the original made $218 million domestically. What happened?

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Nope, Not a 1-Hit Wonder: Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch

It’s one of those skeletons in his closet, like one of those outfits you wore in junior high that you really wish someone hadn’t taken a picture of you wearing. One thing that the esteemed actor Mark Wahlberg wishes people would totally forget.

It’s such a good vibration/Oooohhh oooohhh ooooohhh/It’s such a sweet sensation

I bet he wakes up in the middle of the night with that playing in his head and he mutters to himself: what the hell was I thinking?
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Young Hollywood Hit Lists – 1996

movieline March 1996 cover

“A treasure trove of top tens to help you make your way through the booby-trapped jungle of Tinseltown’s younger stars, comers and soon-to-be-goners.”

I had a lot of fun revisiting predictions made by Movieline magazine in their 1991 Young Hollywood issue.  So naturally, I went back for more.  The format of the magazine changed every year.  Future issues didn’t include the same “Who’s Who”-style article I covered last time.  But, the 1996 issue included some fun top ten lists.

Here are some of my favorites along with some modern-day commentary of my own.

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